Welcome, dear listeners, to another soul-stirring episode of Philosophies for Life. I’m your host, and I’m so thrilled to have you join me today as we dive into a timeless piece of wisdom from one of history’s greatest minds, Acharya Chanakya. If you’ve ever felt like being “too good” or “too nice” has left you taken for granted, hurt, or unappreciated, then this episode is for you. We’re going to unpack a profound teaching from Chanakya that challenges the very idea of what it means to be a “good person” and explore how to live with balance, wisdom, and self-respect. So, grab a cup of tea, settle in, and let’s journey together into a lesson that could truly transform the way you see yourself and your relationships.
Let’s start with a powerful quote from Chanakya himself, often found in his seminal work, Chanakya Niti. He said, “A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first, while the crooked ones are left standing.” Now, isn’t that striking? At first, it might sound harsh, almost cynical. Don’t be too honest? Don’t be too good? But as we dig deeper, we’ll see that Chanakya isn’t advocating for deceit or selfishness. Instead, he’s warning us against being so naive or overly accommodating that we invite exploitation. Think about it—straight trees in a forest, standing tall and perfect, are the first to be chopped down because they’re easy targets. Crooked trees, on the other hand, are often left alone because they’re harder to deal with. Chanakya’s metaphor is a call for us to cultivate shrewdness and self-protection, not malice.
Let me share another gem from Chanakya Niti: “Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise counsel keep it secret, being determined to carry it into execution.” Here, Chanakya emphasizes the importance of discretion and strategic thinking. Being overly open or transparent can sometimes make us vulnerable to manipulation. It’s not about hiding who you are, but about protecting your dreams, plans, and energy from those who might not have your best interests at heart.
Now, let’s bring this wisdom to life with a story—a dialogue between a master and a man who felt burdened by his own “goodness.” Picture this: a man approaches a wise master, pouring out his heart. He says, “Master, I’m a good and honest person. I always try to help everyone, to keep everyone happy. But people take advantage of me. They mock me, don’t take me seriously, and even my family doesn’t respect me. I work harder than anyone, I care for everyone, yet I’m always the one left hurt. Why does this happen to me?” Can you feel the weight of his words? I bet many of us have been there—trying so hard to be “good,” only to feel invisible or used.
The master listens patiently and then responds with a piercing truth. He says, “You’re not truly a good person; you’re pretending to be one. Your goodness comes from a desire to be liked, to be praised, to be validated. You’re seeking your happiness in others’ approval, and that’s why you’re suffering.” Ouch. That must’ve stung. But the master wasn’t done. He explained how people who strive to be “too good” often fall into traps like people-pleasing, hiding their flaws out of fear, neglecting their own needs, and expecting reciprocation for their kindness. When that reciprocation doesn’t come, resentment festers. It’s a vicious cycle.
Let’s reflect on this philosophically for a moment. Chanakya’s teachings and this story touch on a universal struggle: the tension between selflessness and self-preservation. In many spiritual traditions, we’re taught to be kind, to serve others, to put others before ourselves. But what happens when that kindness becomes a mask for insecurity or a tool for validation? Suddenly, our “goodness” isn’t pure—it’s transactional. We give to get. And when we don’t get, we feel cheated. Chanakya’s wisdom cuts through this illusion, reminding us that true goodness doesn’t come from external approval but from inner balance. It’s about being authentic, not just “nice.”
This also ties into broader life themes like emotional well-being and relationships. When we overextend ourselves to please others, we often neglect our mental health. We say “yes” when we mean “no,” we suppress our emotions to avoid conflict, and we end up drained. Financially, this can manifest as lending money we can’t afford to lose or overworking to prove our worth. Spiritually, we lose connection with our true selves because we’re too busy living for others’ expectations. Chanakya’s advice is a wake-up call: protect your energy, your resources, your peace. Be kind, but be wise.
So, how do we apply this in our daily lives? Let’s break it down into actionable lessons. First, learn to say “no” without guilt. I remember a time when I said “yes” to every favor, every request, thinking it made me a better person. But I was exhausted, resentful, and had no time for my own dreams. Saying “no” doesn’t mean you’re selfish; it means you value your boundaries. Start small—decline a non-essential task with kindness and see how liberating it feels.
Second, prioritize your needs and those of your loved ones. Chanakya and the master in our story emphasize being a “thoughtful person” over a “straight” one. A thoughtful person knows their worth and ensures their core responsibilities—like family, health, and personal growth—are met before overextending to others. Ask yourself: Am I neglecting my own needs to look good in someone else’s eyes?
Third, let go of the need for approval. This one’s tough, I know. We all want to be liked. But as the master pointed out, seeking happiness in others’ opinions is a losing battle. Instead, focus on living authentically. Do what aligns with your values, not what earns you applause. When I stopped worrying about being “the nice guy” and started being true to myself, I found deeper, more genuine connections.
Finally, be discerning about who you help. Kindness is beautiful, but it shouldn’t be blind. Help those who truly need it, not those who exploit it. Chanakya’s metaphor of the crooked tree reminds us to be strategic—don’t make yourself an easy target. Offer support from a place of strength, not desperation for validation.
As we wrap up, let’s carry these insights forward. Chanakya’s wisdom isn’t about becoming cold or selfish; it’s about finding balance—being kind without being naive, generous without being used, and good without losing yourself. Remember the master’s final advice to the man: “Don’t aim to be a straight person, aim to be a thoughtful one. Live the life you truly want, not the one others expect.” So, I leave you with a question to ponder: Are you living for your own fulfillment, or are you trapped in the cycle of proving your goodness to others? Take a moment this week to reflect on where you can set boundaries, prioritize yourself, and embrace your authentic self.
Thank you for joining me on this journey through ancient wisdom and modern reflection. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might need to hear it. Let’s keep spreading inspiration, one story at a time. Until next time, this is your host signing off from Philosophies for Life. Stay thoughtful, stay true, and keep growing.